Wednesday, April 20, 2011 - 17:49

Honest Achmed's Used Cars

A joker over at the bugzilla really made my day and hit the nail right where it hurts.

Achmed is obviously in the used cars business. Probably together with his cousin Mustafa, who apparently knows a bit about computers. His request is quite striking. He wants to add the Honest Achmed's Used Cars CA to the root certificate store to

sell a sufficiently large number of certificates as quickly as possible in order to become too big to fail

and quote again:

The purpose of this certificate is to allow Honest Achmed to sell bucketloads of other certificates and make a lot of money.

He already has a good idea about his vivid business structure. He wants to issue certs and subcontract to his Cousin Osman, his uncles Mehmet and Iskender and maybe Osman's best friend Emin. Sub-sub contracting will also be an option and I need to quote that one again

Honest Achmed's uncles may invite some of their friends to issue certificates as well, in particular their cousins Refik and Abdi or "RA" as they're known. Honest Achmed's uncles assure us that their RA can be trusted, apart from that one time when they lent them the keys to the car, but that was a one-off that won't happen again.

For some reason unbeknown to me Mozilla closed the request as invalid. And honestly ( no pun ) I don't know why.

Achmed's business is as valid as VeriSign's or Comodo's. Ahmed accurately describes their business model. But as Achmed states: to become to big to fail. Or in terms of certificates: To dish out enough to become a nuisance if you get flushed down the drain.

Whoever did this skit accurately described how the business works in detail. The only thing Achmed is missing in his business plan is handing out certificates because some dude called on the phone.

Whoever did it: It's one for the hall of fame.