Saturday, February 23, 2013 - 01:55

Harry Potter and the Oracle of America

Once upon a time in a country far, far away - where you could copyright shitting checker patterns onto coffee tables - a bunch of pathetic knights of the order of the law decided to take down the Kraken. A giant monster who could suck source code through a garden hose as if it were a golf ball.

Now the Kraken supposedly had stolen the power of the source code from the Oracle of America. And let's just say the first attempt of Dirty Harry and his bunch of nitwits to recapture it didn't work out that well. They came home with a bloody nose, their pants around their ankles and a big fucking L tattooed to the front of their empty heads.

But the Oracle wouldn't be the Oracle if one big stupid fucking attempt would be enough. So the knights sat down and planned again for battle.

This time they came up with what seemed to be a brilliant idea for the uninitiated knights who knew nothing about the power of the code. A language alien to their law gibberish. They picked the URLConnection and called it program. They searched the Kraken's source for the very same and found it in an empty abstract shell in the lair of the monster. The final proof the Kraken was a thief.

So again they went into battle with the monstrous Kranken. And while the battle still wages on the shores of the California the knights pretty fucking sure look like they get owned again over that empty shell of powerless code they knew nothing about.

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